soooo i'm gonna take you back about a year and a half ago. id been going to my church for a little over sixish months and i loved it so much. unfortunately my attendence was kinda off and on considering i was with the ex at the time but when i went, mercy, did i ever feel amazing. Sooooo it was a wednesday night and I have gone alone. I dont exactly know why. either my dad couldnt come or he just didnt want to and like hell the ex was gonna come. he was so against church. anyways, i sat down on the left side of the church, a few rows from the front just kinda minding my own business waiting for the service to start and i looked up and there he was. well, there were two of him considering he has a twin but honestly, i never found chris to be attractive. chase says they are identical. i say ... suuuuuure babe whatever you say.
anyways! he was sitting two rows ahead of him and talking to a girl that was sitting in front of me. i was smitten. from that moment on, every service i kept an eye out for him. keep in mind i was still technically a taken girl and i was never one for looking at other men. when i was taken i was taken. but there was something about chase. he always got my attention no matter what.this was all during the fall, winter and spring months. needless to say i made sure to get a seat with a good view at church. summer came along and i had gotten the job at paivika so i was hardly ever at church and then james and i broke up yadda yadda yadda. camp ended and i was able to be in church regularly again. i never really saw chase though. it didnt ever seem like he was there. time kept on going, other boys came and went from my life, i never got serious with any of them though. it seemed like God was holding my heart out for something else, someone better. and then things just kinda ... clicked. i went into frugos with fletch after she and donnie had broken up and wouldnt you know it, chase worked there and after not even having exchanged a hello with this boy he came up and hugged me as if we had known each other all along when in reality i had always just been a creep and watched him from a distance. i probably could have died right then.
so yeah from that moment on i was kinda in there a lot. i probably made myself look pretty foolish but whatever. fletch and i even decided on shelley twin domination 09. she failed. i didnt. haha. i honestly dont know how to describe it but i had such strong emotions for this man. it wasnt a purely physical or purely emotional attraction ... it was almost like a spiritual attraction. its so hard to describe and i really didnt think anything would come of it because for the most part he would ignore me and talk to hudson. kinda hurt. not gonna lie. hudson, though, opened the door for us because as lame as it sounds after one paticualr night i actually broke down crying because my heart ached so badly for this man and in my mind i would never have him and it would be forever unrequited. obviously God had other plans. that night hudson shot chase a text kinda tellin him I was about it. chase texted me and really the rest is history.
it was one of those moments where i knew this was the man God had been preparing for me and me for him. I knew from the first moment he held my hand and i felt that ZAP in my toes that i was going to marry him. that he would be my husband. its all so unreal to me. ive found him. Ive found the man i am going to marry. now comes the fun part of actually planning the wedding. ive got a year to do it since we wont be tying the knot until october 9,2010 but still. you know me, i'm a neaurotic mess. so of course im stressing out about it now. put that on top of working 11 hour work days usually and you have one big ugly mess of me. not a good thing. chase must love me so much because he puts up with my tantrums pretty well.
i could honestly go on about him and my love for him so much. about how much i praise and worship God for giving me such a wonderful man. i love him so passionately, so faithfully, so VIOLENTLY! there is a fire in my heart for God and a .... i dont even know ... i just dont. the greatest feeling in my life is worshiping with chase. to stand in church and praise and worship our Lord with him at my side, holding my hand or with his arm around me. its so indescribable. i'm blessed. til the end of my days, til i take my last breath i will continue to shout it from every mountain top that i am blessed to love and be loved by the best man God could have ever given me.
the future Mrs.Shelley :p
